In Confidence

Bereavement Issues for counsellors, those offering bereavement counselling. Considering the needs of the bereaved, their loss, grief counselling at and soon after the death of their loved one.

To consider, when or how soon can people usefully use bereavement counselling?

How can the funeral ceremony itself help in the bereavement counselling process?

How can friends and family best support those strongly grief stricken in the early stages, in need of grief counselling?

In response, it can be said that we each respond in our own unique way to grief, bereavement - we should be wary of rules that are too rigid in their approach to supporting the bereaved. Be prepared not to rush our responses nor to seek to impose a particular pattern to peoples feelings and actions when in grief. Time needs to be available to those in grief, and patience. The rite of passage, the ritual of the funeral can be of help in affirming the wishes and beliefs of the bereaved. Those wishes are more pluralistic, varied nowadays, the traditional church funeral service is less asked for and the crematorium increasingly the place where the goodbyes and the celebration of a life well led is made - this may need more time than those crematoriums based on the old model and offering a brief simple service allow.

Perhaps the traditional note and tone of mourning is now balanced by a wish for a positive thanksgiving that can give the bereaved a feeling of conflict over their positive feelings, it is perhaps appropriate to address and express in any counselling support these possibly difficult feelings and emotions.

It would seem fair to say that for the bereaved, anything which expresses the loved ones unique identity is of great help. The contact by professionals immediately after death, at the hospital, the hospice, the funeral directors, the funeral minister should be wary of conveying that this is one of many clients. It would seem, where possible, advantageous if the funeral ceremony could be experienced as a stand alone occasion, without rush or the pressure of “another family” waiting to use the facility.

If you have views or experiences on bereavement, being bereaved, that you wish to share in this please E-mail us, indicating where you are happy for these to be published

We welcome referrals from health professionals GPs solicitors and other mental health organisations in these circumstances we are happy to see clients for individual and group low cost counselling for all issues and problems including bereavement counselling, grief counselling, supporting the bereaved through, grief and loss. Where we are unable to offer help we attempt to refer clients on to more specialist services. We have a counsellor near most areas of East London South Essex, limited availability near Braintree, Saffron Walden, East Essex Southend, Basildon.